


Listening to You

by BlueDreams



Category: Half-Life
Genre: F/M, Gen, I wanted to make it ambiguous in case I write more with these two in the future, Mild Language, Talking Gordon, platonic or romantic Freemance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-25
Updated: 2017-05-25
Packaged: 2018-11-04 23:23:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,352
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11001159
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BlueDreams/pseuds/BlueDreams
Summary: A divergent part in Episode Two where the car takes longer to repair, and Alyx and Gordon use the time to talk with no aliens stopping them. The result is both of them opening up about their feelings on the past and present.





	Listening to You

The destruction of the auto-gun and the zombies being cleared out gave Gordon a well-deserved break from his de facto job of alien control. He regrouped with Alyx quickly afterward to check on their upgraded jalopy, only to be reminded by the mechanics that repairs weren’t finished yet.

“Sorry, you two,” one replied. “Seems like that chopper tore up more than we thought.”  
“And honestly, we weren’t expecting you to get done so fast,” the other said in between welding parts of the car.

Alyx smiled genially and understood. Gordon hypnotically looked at the sparks flying by instead of paying attention, but he followed Alyx as she left the garage to head outside.

“I have to admit,” Alyx began as she sat down on a rare area of grass free from toxins. “We haven’t had a moment to unwind since Black Mesa East was under attack. It’s almost weird. Most of the time, it’s just been us going from one place to another.” She patted the ground next to her twice to gesture Gordon to sit next to her.

“Being in a coma doesn’t count as a break?” Gordon questioned with a nervous smile as he sat down. Alyx lightheartedly punched his shoulder, forgetting it was armored. She reels her hand back to soothe it away from Gordon’s sight, and hides the pain to save face.  
“And what a vacation that was,” she said wryly.  
“I get what you mean, though. It feels nice to not shoot anything. Or running a lot from things. Or being in fear.” Gordon paused. “Lots of nice things.”

Alyx chuckled at his growing openness. Gordon was a man of few words and fewer conversations when they first met. But around her at least, his shyness slowly but surely melted away. Despite that, he couldn’t easily come up with conversation topics as she did. During spaces of silence, he was never in a hurry to talk. Whether it was a reaction of his social skills or if he always was prone to it, he’d stare keenly at his surroundings. Luscious green evergreen trees somehow untouched by the Combine’s actions. Yellow, thick liquid that filled the puddles and ponds. Buildings that have been neglected for years covered in graffiti. They all would be examined by the scientist with either appreciation, melancholy, or stoic attention without making a comment. Then he would continue on whatever task he had to do. This had not gone unnoticed by Alyx, who was more than aware of his quirk. 

“Something on your mind, big guy?” Alyx said, ignoring that they were roughly the same size.  
“Always,” Gordon replied. Alyx couldn’t tell if he was being sarcastic or not, but she let him continue. “This might be a weird question, but… have you seen any animals besides crows lately?”  
“That’s not weird, no. Sometimes there’s dogs and cats, but they’re getting rarer. Most wildlife is just from Xen and wherever the hell the antlions are from. It’s been like that for at least several years.”

Gordon instinctively looked up and swallowed harshly. He stared at the placid blue sky as he talked.  
“I had a feeling that was going to be the answer,” he said with a struggling tone. “It still didn’t prepare me for it. There’s so much that’s just gone, it feels like it shouldn’t be real.”

Alyx felt a quick jolt of solidarity with him, and put her hand on his shoulder so he could be at ease. She thought about how her childhood included going to elementary school, living in Black Mesa dormitories, and experiencing two different alien invasions within mere moments of each other. How one moment she was holding hands with her mother, and then learning to live with how they would never see her again.

“Yeah,” she said without hesitation, looking into the distance. “The worst part is that I think my memories of life before the Combine are going away. Just another bit of bullshit caused by them.” 

Her furrowed brow and hardened face did not go unnoticed by Gordon. He wanted to see her cheerful side again, and at the same time was curious about her life. There might be some familiarity between them that went beyond surviving this world, even if it meant receiving a glare from opening old wounds.

“A-Any memories that come to mind?” he said. Alyx remained cold, but she managed to be eye-to-eye with him.  
“I definitely had a better time before everything went to hell,” she said with limited restraint. She took a deep breath as Gordon gave her a worrying look. “I mean, Black Mesa was interesting to see with the teleporters and all. And for a while, it was good because science was one of the few things that made school bearable. It just so happened to make being around stuffy, old guys bearable, too,” she chuckled. 

Tension from both of them lowered as they relaxed, reminiscing over fonder times. Alyx’s images of her past became clearer, and her face glowed as one memory came into her head. She stood up and gestured theatrically.

“I remembered one scientist who was crabbier than even Magnusson,” Alyx went on with a full smile equipped while moving her hands around. “She would yell at the top of her lungs whenever I’d do so much as move in her sight. ‘Stand still, you brat! You are Dr. Vance’s daughter, now act like it! I should not hear anything from you unless you have something important to say.’ So everyday I’d mess with her by downloading so much crap on her computer that it would slow down and play awful music that everyone could hear from the other rooms. She’d freak out and get even more eyes on her than if she’d just calm down.” She laughed, causing Gordon to involuntarily snort. “I wasn’t a nice kid, but wasn’t a nice lady either. So it worked out.”  
“Always had a knack for technology, huh?” Gordon said, somewhat sarcastically.  
“Oh, you know it!” Her expression mellowed as she sat back down. “And there were times that were just nice and easy, y’know? Spending time with Dad and Mom, playing with friends, exploring the facility, figuring how these experiments went on.”

She was close to becoming forlorn like Gordon, but looking at him made her have different thoughts. In particular, what sort of world was he living in. He had come of age before the incident, and there must have been something he went through that made him so observant of this new world.

“Say, if you don’t mind,” she told him. “What was your life like before all this happened?”

Various thoughts rushed into his head, many of them focused on his family, his social life, and the day-by-day occurrences of being in Seattle. In his recollection, he struggled to think of what would make sense to her as someone whose adolescence was starkly different to hers. 

“Well,” he pondered. “It was very okay. Looking back at it, I had a comfortable life. I didn’t have one group of friends like a lot of TV showed, mostly just friends from different walks of life. And I’d do different things depending on who I was with. I’d go exploring the woods with one, do science experiments with another, listen to grunge with another.”  
“Hold up,” Alyx interrupted. “What is ‘grunge?’”  
“It’s rock. But it was more than that. It was Seattle rock!” Gordon momentarily beamed, much to Alyx’s snickering delight. “The music was tough, but the lyrics really spoke to you. Especially to me because growing up in Seattle really makes you feel it. The fact that it rained so much helped.”

She became intrigued by how much he cared about something like music, when before she just knew he was passionate about science. She rested her shin on her wrist as he went on.

“But the 90s was a great decade for music. Rap, big beat, techno. But there were other good things, like a show about nothing.”  
“Really?” Alyx interrogated with a raised brow. “What’s even the point?”  
“Not a point to be found.”  
“Well, there’s gotta be something.”  
“I never found it. But it’s good!”  
“A show about nothing…” she derided.

That era gave him a rush of feelings he stored away from his adventures and uncomfortably common brushes with death. He became open about sharing his thoughts on that decade, but never about the previous one. The 80s were forgotten for many reasons.  
“It was a weird time,” Gordon commented. “Both for people and for me. There was a lot awareness for a lot of taboo issues, and there was a sense of energy and just being yourself. But there were lots of bad things going on in the world, too. It seemed like crime was everywhere. And I’ll admit that I sometimes didn’t feel safe. So now it’s weird when almost all the horrible things being committed by one group.”  
“I never thought of a world like that,” Alyx said. “If there’s one blessing to all of this, it’s easy to figure out who’s causing all this misery.”  
“Yeah. It wasn’t simple at all back then.”

Alyx realized that she knew nothing about his family. To her, the subject was important in a time where closeness ensured comfort among constant reminders of infestations, predators, and whatever the Combine wanted to do to anyone living. 

“What were your folks like?” she asked with a gentle voice. 

That image of family caused his lip to quiver slightly and his fingers began to tap on his leg in a rhythm. His eyes were fixated on a stone lying out in the middle of the grassy field, but only because his head would not move from his focus.

“They were all right,” he said in a strained tone.  
“That’s it?” Alyx dryly replied as her eyes widened. “There’s gotta be something more about ‘em.”  
“I mean, they were good people. But I spent so much time in school or university that I missed out on so much.” His calm demeanor was being replaced with shaking fingers and feet. “My parents were having issues paying for their house, John and I fell out of touch when I went away. And with Black Mesa… I never should’ve went to that place. Everything that could’ve been changed for the better ended in a minute! I- I don’t even know what happened to them after that, or-or if they’re still around.”

His gloved hands covered his lowered face, all while mumbling something about ‘military.’ His gulping and the droplets seeping from the crevices of his fingers stunned Alyx. Someone who had cut down Combine forces like a lawnmower to grass was shuddering from his past. A protective layer of stoic shielding could hold for so long before nearly every part of his body started to fidget or rock back and forth. He had been a pillar for her when she was trapped under a stalker, and it was her time to repay. Her hand met one of his delicately yet firmly, which had already helped his fingers slow down.

“I don’t know if this will make you feel better,” she warmly said with worried eyes on him. “But if another guy was in your spot, the same thing would’ve happened. Dad told me that the experiment was in progress for years. Probably before I was born. It was going to happen either way.”

A sharp inhale and exhale were now the only responses coming from him, which was better than a repeat of his motions. 

“And... I know you don’t have a clue about what happened to your family,” she continued, having her expression relax and speaking more in her natural tone after seeing him improve. “But I’m sure they had the same thoughts about you being in ground zero of the incident. Hell, if they could handle a delinquent like you for 18 years, the Combine’s nothing to them” she grinned with confidence. “You inherit a lot of things from family, including toughness. I won’t lie, you might not be able to find them, but anything can happen in a world where we’re friends with vorts from a place called Xen.”

His body did not move for several seconds until he lifted his head up, his eyes slightly watered and his complexion redder than usual. But he was looking more like himself with each passing moment. There were still a lingering doubt about how probable her statements were, but he was too caught up in his relief to overthink things. He looked at Alyx and smiled gratefully with his teeth showing 

“For the record,” Alyx remarked. “You didn’t need to cover your face. I’ve seen you tear up from lots of horrible things. That includes the time you got sad when a headcrab was on its back,” she smirked.  
“It was like a turtle!” he complained. “It kept wiggling around but couldn’t get up!”  
“You’re a nutjob,” she laughed. 

A voice from the garage alerted them. 

“Hey, come on in when you’re ready! The car is good as… well, it’s not crap anymore.”  
“Sure thing!” she exclaimed to the mechanic, and then turned her attention to Gordon. “Come on, Gordon. Let’s see how much damage this thing can take. And if you see a ramp with a big dismount, promise me you’ll jump it.”

Gordon smiled and nodded, along with gestures that signalled to cross his heart and hope to die. They got up at around the same time while Gordon noticed something that caught his eye and stopped, causing Alyx to stop.

“What is it?” she asked patiently. 

He coughed and tilted his head twice to signal her to look down. They had forgotten that they were holding their hands and abruptly stopped, with both of them chuckling nervously.

“Not there’s anything wrong with that,” she said.

Gordon’s memory of the previously talked about show came back to him, and immediately stifled a laugh. Alyx’s face became a mixture of confusion and skepticism before shaking her head in defeat and continuing forward to the jalopy.


End file.
